RIP Grandma

I dunno whether this is a coincidence or what, but 2 days after my last day of working, along wit the start of my sis's monthly exam and also the elections, my grandma has left to join my grandpa.

By the time I got to know about this, it was 1 hour before I knew we were leaving for hometown. She passed away moments after the date changed to Wednesday. So my sis's skipping skool and dad's taking leave. Within a flash we're back to pay our last respects. Since we're "late", we had to kneel down and walk wit our knees through the entrance. Went in, and pay our last respects (not really our 'last respects' coz there's a lot more of praying to be done). Den choose our clothes to be worn throughout the 3 days of mourning.

The direct sons and daughters get to wear all black. The direct grandchildren wears dark blue while the grandchildren-in-law wears light blue. Funerals are very much modernized these days. It's done by professionals that are dedicated to the job. They prepare everything for you and all you have to do is to attend and go through the ceremonies.

Don't really need to explain all the events of the funeral gua... But all I can say is that the events are very symbolic. There're some that symbolises the release from pain and misery, and also the journey of the soul to the underworld. The first few events are to mourn the death of a loved one, and the last few events are aimed to prepare the rest of us to move on wit our lives.

Somehow I wonder if it's ok not to drop tears. I mean, I'm known to some of my friends that I kind of spoil the mood with my inability to soak up the sad atmosphere and instead say something that leaves ppl wit a stone face. But this time I'm really sad, sad as in, I understand that someone I respect and love has left. However I'm not really the kind of ppl that will have my tears rolling down my face. I dunno, I just can't get tears out of my eyes, except when I'm yawning. I've seen my relatives and cousin having wet eyes, even my mom cried a bit when she saw my grandma for the last time. I do feel 'useless' that I can't shed any tears for my grandma. I'm scared that they might take me as someone who doesn't appreciate my grandma, coz I dun feel that sadness.

So, is it normal NOT to have tears while mourning a loved one's death?

The elections also did its part in the funeral. On day one there's this ppl from the Opposition paying a visit. You noe they are here for publicity, but well, who's stopping someone from paying their last respects to my late grandma? Moments later another bunch of ppl, this time from the Governing Party, attended the funeral. It's quite a funny scene as you can see ppl from both parties sitting juz tables away from each other. Of coz after some time the opposition party gang left the scene, afterall, it's my grandma's funeral ma...

The GE also fuel discussions among ppl here. I had a great time talking about it wit my family and also my extended family. My cousin brother has his own thinking. In an attempt to wash my brain, he said :'see, if you voted for the governing party, this means that you agree that what they have done so far is right, that they neglected our citizen's right is correct, and that you accept being treated as a 2nd class citizen'. Well, you noe chinese ppl, they are always so critical. I do agree with some of their points, yet still wondering if local development can still go on without government funding (coz somehow a DUN representative from the opposition will not be invited for the city council meetings. Hrmm...).

On the third and last day of the funeral, representatives from various organisations turned out to pay their last respects, as well as accompany my grandma to her final resting place. Was quite cool to see so many representatives there, 表示我婆婆在那里是有头有面的。Then was this 'parade' (is parade the right word?) around the little town. We got on the road, walked to the coffee shop that my late grandpa opened to do a ceremony, and continued on to the nearby graveyard. Good thing ppl understood that this is the customs of the chinese ppl to parade the late loved ones. We thanked the attendees by the entrance to the graveyard and continued on to the burial site. Some ceremonies later and we're done.

Back to the house and did some more ceremonies to signify that the mourning is over or some sort.

See, I know that I can't make you cry wit wut I write/say. Well, sort of a personal account, this is.

RIP Grandma. Your ABC soup will stay in my memory forever.
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