Conflict

See, almost everyone that's known me long enough know that I'm really into the climate change issue. Yes I used to talk to friends about the importance of solving it, the issues, the facts (remember polar bears? LOL) and stuff. I was really into it since watching An Inconvenient Truth. It blew me away. The cause was so alarming that it snapped me right away that we really need to do something about it. I was so into the whole issue I got myself a place as a PM in the school's recycling project.

And I've always known that it'll be an uphill task coz the awareness is really not there yet. People don't understand the situation, or simply, don't care about the situation. It makes me wonder whether these people are too afraid to known what they have (collectively) done to nature and chose to escape from responsibility.

My cam spoiled the view. The stadium, at night, was really spectacular.

But lately, specifically since that last recycling activity of the year, I have been doing a lot of thinking and re-evaluating.

I've picked up a hobby. Or you can put it this way, comfort zone.

I never liked the idea of driving. Back then when I was Form 4 , there's once after koko my mom brought me to the industry area and let me drive the car. You noe industry area, cars are all parked, so not much movement. Wide roads with huge corners. But I was afraid. I got into the driver's seat, put it to drive (yes, it's an auto, shame on me) and drove. The car has got a volume that I wasn't ready to get used to. The motion of turning the steering wheel. I just couldn't take it anymore. By the next corner, I said it's enough, and got back tot he passenger's seat.

So early this year I got my license. Yea normal stuff, didn't have that driving discomfort coz you noe Kancils are small. Then I inherited the car my dad used to drive. But I didn't really start exploring it until I started school in June. Yes a whole 6 months I was either letting the car rot or driving like a noob.

Then came the time where all the outings require driving. It's ok. But the more I drive, the more comfortable I felt about driving. I liked driving. I really liked driving. It even came to a point where me and my family was on a long journey to Pangkor. Halfway thru I couldn't stand the feeling of sitting at the back and asked to sit beside the driver. Yes. I couldn't stand facing the headrest, lookin at the side of the car wit the scenery passing by my side. I like looking at where we're goin. I like the feeling of leading the car to somewhere.

It was all juz cruising. Until I started driving to tuition and fetching Meng Yong. You noe having a friend that actually encougares you to go that bit more faster. So everytime I explored the car's potential a bit. Bit by bit, I started to have this urge to push it to the limit. So I started revving the engine (coincidentally the oil prices dropped, :-P) , pushing the RPM past 3500 (yea previously i juz let it change gear automatically, lazy to oomph it up). Add in with the little physics I learnt, I started to feel the force of accelerating. That feeling of the seat pushing against your back, that G force acting on your head when going thru corners. Yes, those feelings.

Then came yesterday where an old friend of mine talked about driving thru some quite, long, straight roads. To quote him: 'this is for the passion'. There wasn't really a lot of passion in cars, or even driving for that matter, I juz felt comfortable driving. Like I said, a comfort zone. So I said okay. It was really a short notice thing. Juz few hours before we went off.

So I waited for him near his house, and followed him to fetch his friend, the one that he talked about a lot. Meeting his friend was like meeting a legend. Not really that spectacular but he's been talkin about him for like, the entire duration I've known him. So his friend lead the way and I juz followed, paying no attention to the roads we're goin.

It was 10pm. The road he lead me to was really empty, wit long straight stretches, even some hilly parts. It was so long that I even drag raced him a few times. Yes, that long. Was fun doin that drag thingy. We came up to speed, and as soon as I see him trying to go faster than me, I floored the pedal and juz raced. The scene was funny coz I seldom see this guy since we ended F5, and we're doin wut them kids use to talk about. I actually laughed when I saw us both cars trying to outrun each other. LOL.

You should noe where this is.

Then we came to the illuminated bridge. Stopped, and enjoyed the night view. This is a city Dr M visioned to have the kind of night life that cities liek Paris have. They've done the physical part, but it doesn't have the soul of famous cities.

Blurry pic. I need a new cam phone.

Then we exited the city. Was lookin for toilet but in the end held it till home. There were quite some corners. He went fast into the corners and I was trying to keep up. Goin thru a corner at 90, my first time. The steering wheel stiffens, your tendency to understeer increases, and that fckin car behind me is having his headlights on 'high'. Def a good driving experience.

So I returned home, excited to tell me dudes about the whole thing. Than I thought, I juz drove for nothing. Seriously it was an unneccessary drive, a whole 80KM of it. We drove aimlessly around town. The carbon footprint is really big. But I enjoyed it. I liked the feeling of being in the cockpit and taking control of the car. But what I'm doin is against my principles!

I preach about solving climate change, of which car emmisions contribute a big part of the excess greenhouse gases. But I'm driving aimlessly, of which I actually enjoy! It's like a pastor preaching about abstinence but back in his room he traps little boys and molest them. It's like a respectable police officer taking bribes (I doubt those in our country even feel guilty about it). It's like teachers asking students not to smoke but back in his house he has stacks of weed, smoking one every night.

Hypocrite? I dun consider myself one, it's juz a conflict of principles.

I even thought of giving up the PM post in the recycling project. The soul is not there anymore.

You noe wut? I think I'll continue enjoy driving, and still preach about solving climate change.

Anyone has any route that's long and straight and endless and near-toll-free? Got toll nvm la, as long as it's not expensive one.

I'm drivin a Waja, in case yer wonderin.

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