*I'll appreciate it if you have the patience to read the whole post. I was inspired.*
As y'all know, basketball is an Olympic sport. This time round China is placed in the same group as basketball powerhouse USA (and Spain, along the way). It is said to be the match to be watch by billions around the world. China, the home favorites, against USA, Dream Team, known as the Redeemer in this Olympics to redeem their loss in Athens.
K so the match ended wit a victory for USA wit a 31 point margin. But that was not before China played a competitive first half. They started out wit threes, wit the first from Yao Ming. He's known to try 3 pointers in NBA matches anyway. Then they put up a good defensive game and were tied wit US. The second half was a whole different story as somehow US wit the likes of Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade, LeBron James and Dwight 'Superman' Howard got a hold of China's defense and started to play like an All-Star game. Play after play the US sliced China's defense like butter.
China's strategy early in the game was to score 3 pointers. It worked well wit 7 in the first half, compared to 2 for the US. That was why they tied the game at first half. US was scoring from the paint very often coz, that's wut the style in NBA is. So after the accuracy of China's shooters deteriorate as the game progresses, US took advantage and won the game easily.
So how, you might ask, can the chinese beat the United States in a sport that is traditionally dominated by the US?
China started by thinking 'hrmm... Maybe we need an NBA player to beat US'. So they sent Wang Zhi Zhi to Dallas to play in the NBA.
Then Wang came back and say 'hey we need pro players'. So China formed a pro league, the CBA.
Even after the pro league, they couldn't win. So they went for physical. They breed Yao Ming. And Yao caught on being an All -Star in the NBA.
But they still couldn't win the US. Yao came back and say ' hey we need sharp shooters.' There's where the 3 pointers in last night's game came from. 'we also need good defense'. And voila, a defensive, sharp shooting team. Along wit some tall fellas in the team.
So there, NBA + PRO + HEIGHT + SHOOTERS + DEFENSE.
But they still couldn't win the US.
They observed yesterday that the US team was very athletic. New breeds of NBA players were all well built. From Lebron, to Dwyane, all of them are very athletic. Soon you'll see a team of tall, sharp shooting, well-built men playing for the chinese team.
And you guessed it, they still would not win the US.
The chinese officials will be scratching their heads over this. 'Why we no win guai lou? We have tall man, shoot man, jump man, pro man. WE chinese muz win! We win guai lou we dominate the world!'
Then they'll come to realise: it's the SKILLZZZ!!! Soon they'll be having basketball academies (like the mushrooming kungfu academies) all over China. Kids as young as 3 will be doin slam dunks and all the street stuff you can imagine of.
But damn. They still can't win the USA. Oih damn sien la still cannot win the US one...
Then they thought: maybe some acrobat will do the trick. I'll add in some SunTzu's Art of War in it. Maybe some drugs to help the growth. Full time singse FTW! Acupunture! Maybe I'll have a space program to get our players to train in space, where the world have yet to do so! Then we'll have gravity defying players who can beat the US!
(By this time you should've realised the determination of China in beating the USA. They won in population growth, they won in economic growth, they won in pollution, they won in making the greatest, grand-est, biggest scaled, fireworked Olympics. They just couldn't win in basketball)
So the Chinese will be having all these programs. Training. Spying in the NBA. All sorts of chinese stuff you can think of.
But they still couldn't win the US.
They lacked one key ingredient.
They lacked black players.
Black players who have the hip-hop influence.
Black players who played the game as a way of life.
Black players who depend on it to earn respect.
Black players who... er... juz play it better than anyone else?
Yup. China can do everything but still lose to the US because they lacked black basketball players.
Soon you'll start seeing China breeding black hybrids of african-chinese.
That wouldn't be hard coz lots and lots of African students are going there to study, like the invasion we have over here.
Then, you'll see China dominate the world.
They dominated everything you use. So, they might as well dominate the world.
Ever wondered why steel prices are rising sharply?
China's been collecting scrap steel from all over the world. To build the world's biggest nest, to nest the best. You want steel? The Bird's Nest is made of it. Go get it from there.
Soon they'll make the Giant Ball (to commemorate their dominance in sports), and the giant fan (to sort of blow all the smoke away from their cities). You KNOW they are capable of doing these kind of things. So dun be surprised when they really do.
UPDATE: WONG CHOON HANN BEAT TAUFIK HIDAYAT!!! STRAIGHT SETS!!!
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